A Date With My Daughter

So tonight was the birthday celebration of one of my dear co workers. I had kind of forgotten about it until someone said, "OK, so I'll see you tonight?" Ah, shit. I really wasn't up to a trip to Milpitas tonight. For one thing I am moving in less than 2 weeks and just really need to focus on packing. For another thing, I worked all day at the hospital and already miss my kids. If I go to this dinner, I won't see them until tomorrow since they would be tucked into bed by the time I got home. So I'm torn. Flake on a really sweet and respected co worker/friend, or disappoint my kids? I agonized about it all day. I really didn't want to go to the dinner, but knew I should, but thought maybe I shouldn't. (Really, it was way too much worry over one friggen evening, but still)

So I finally came up with this 'perfect' fix. I'll just bring my daughter to the dinner! That way she feels special because she gets to go on a date with Mom and my co worker's feelings aren't hurt that I missed her birthday. It's brilliant, right?

Wrong. On paper, this deal sounded great. Kat and I will bond over a night and dinner out. The boys will stay home and have their special time. My friend will be so happy I made it. This plan works! Until you try to execute and realize that you are bringing a THREE YEAR OLD to Malaysian cuisine. Naturally, about 15 minutes into this delightful meal, she announces that she needs to "use the restroom". (Kat is very polite, I'm so proud of her) Now this place is apparently very popular and I have to weed in and out of quite a crowd to get her there. We get inside the stall and she asks if this toilet flushes itself or if I have to flush it. Don't ask me why the hell that matters, but I looked and told her that I had to flush it. She started getting all irritated and said, "No never mind, I'll just go pee pee when we get home". I tried to reason with her that she would be uncomfortable but she just did not want to go at this particular location. OK, fine, whatever.

Back at the table, she can't stop squirming. (No doubt because her bladder is about to explode). So every time I told her to stop wiggling, she would pucker up and kiss me. I told her that kissing to stay out of trouble is absolutely not OK and that we only kiss because we love, not to evade punishment. She said, "I love...." (In a super sassy tone of course) and puckered up again. Now it's a damn game for her. Every damn time she kicked or wiggled and I asked her to stop she would kiss me.

Right about 8:00 she started saying, "Mommy! Please take me home! I'm so tired! I need to go night night Mommy! Please GET ME HOME. I told her that she was being impolite and that next time she wouldn't be able to go with me. She argued and I said, "Baby Girl, you aren't even having fun..." She said, "I am Mommy, I'm having fun..." (in a not so sure tone) I told her that Mommy didn't have fun when I constantly had to ask her to stop moving around. That was it. The water works started on high. I had hurt Kat's feelings, and I felt awful.

There is no good ending to this story. I consoled her. I assured her that she is a fun girl and that I love spending time with her. She stopped crying and assured me that she understood what happened.... Mommy was angry and Kat was sad. I felt like I was an inch tall. And I realized that even though she may be a very well behaved little child, she is still a child. And I'm not a bad parent if I go out with just adults every once in a blue moon. So next time I get invited to an adult event, I'm going to try really hard to resist that pucker and "but I MISS my mommy when you leave!" Ah she breaks my heart.