More About My Zoo

Just felt like writing a little more about my family. My family is my reason for pretty much everything I do, so it seems worth writing about right now.

I'll start with me. It's hard for me to write about me because I am at a loss for descriptives. I'm me, doesn't that say enough? Well, only if you know me I guess. I was one of those dorks back in the day that was pissed if I got a B+ in advanced chemistry and who took pre calculus even though I had finished my math requirement for high school before junior year. I was sure that I wouldn't be one of those statistics who dropped out of college, that I would be an RN by the time I was 22. I even assured all of my friends that I wasn't even going to bother dating when I moved back to California. (I lived in Texas for 4 years) I studied hard for the SAT's, had all my scholarship and admission stuff in order. I was set.

So the first thing I did when I moved to Cali was get a job at Costco. It was a crappy job indeed. I was a cashier and I moonlighted in the pharmacy and one hour photo departments. The job sucked and it was my first realization that people really do suck. Like really, people can be alarmingly stupid. So I lasted there a year and a half and then temped for a while. I turned down a decent paying job with stock options and all to work as a freakin clerk again at Kaiser. I knew that I wanted to be a nurse, and figured it would be nice to have my foot in the door at Kaiser when that degree fell into my lap. Yeah well I've been working there for 8 years now, since I was 20. I went to school at night for a while and managed to become a medical assistant. Better than nothing I suppose but I still have my eye on the RN dollars.

Then there is my husband. We met when we were 12 years old. He was my cousin's best friend so it was sort of convenient that we hang out. I would visit Cali every summer because my parents shared custody and that's when I got to know CR. Funny enough, we really disliked each other at first. Not like flirty 'I hate you' bullshit. Like really, strong dislike. Since MC was his best friend and my cousin and friend though we tolerated each other. One summer my cousin decided she wanted to date this boy. She was younger than me, only 15. Her mom told her that if she wanted to make it a double date, and if I went, she would allow it. So I told her if she found me someone to hang out with, I would go as her chaperon. Well guess who the lazy bitch finds? None other than her brother's best friend. I was pissed! But for the sake of adventure, I went. Well that night CR and I hit it off and my cuz was totally disgusted by her date. And so it began. We hung out the rest of that summer and then again the next summer, and the summer after that I moved here. We were going to be casual so I could focus on school, but it ended up being the other way around.

So we got married in 2004, 6 years after I moved to Cali. We went on a 2 week honeymoon and the day we came back I decided to take a bath at 4:00AM. I was still on Hawaii time and we still had another couple of weeks off work, so what the hell. On a total whim, I decided to pee on a pregnancy test that happened to be under the sink. I didn't really think anything of it, I was bored and they had been under there for a couple of years. What the hell? So I peed on the stick and set it on the side of the bath tub. Several minutes later I glanced over at the damn thing... and what do you know? It had 2 lines! I had stopped taking birth control figuring I would flush it out of my system for a year and then we'd work on having a baby. Oh well. Honeymoon baby it was! So it was a surprise but a happy one.

After the pregnancy from hell, in Dec '04 enter Kat. Oh she quickly became the complete center of my universe. She has since nudged over a tiny bit for her brother, but she's still pretty much there. She was a dream baby. She hardly ever cried or fussed. She was happy and people would stop me to tell me how beautiful she was. I tried putting her in day care but ended up calling in sick all the time. She wouldn't take a bottle so I was convinced that she would starve if I didn't nurse her all day. I ended up taking a part time position so that I could be home with her during the days. I work evenings and weekends and hubby works days. There is a very small over lap of time 3 days a week that a good friend takes care of my babies but otherwise they are with one of us all the time. We are so lucky. Anyhow, I'm going to have to write a whole other blog about Kat because that girl is something else! She was very smart from the get go and I have many a story about that little one.

Around Christmas time of '06 I noticed that some of the procedures at work were making me want to barf. I was in the 'urine room' testing someone's urine and noticed that it smelled SO strong. I gagged a little and figured that person must just have a really horrible infection. Then the next one made me gag, then the next. So I said to myself, "why is my sense of smell so strong? And why the f do my boobs hurt?" Anyhow I got busy and forgot about it for a couple of days. Then the day after Christmas I went to take a bath and grabbed that other pregnancy test from the 2 pack I bought to confirm Kat. Sure enough, 2 lines. Here we go again. In August of '07 we welcomed our Bear. Though I love him dearly, he's definitely not the little angel the first one was. To be fair though, the first time around I had time to hold Kat all the time, nurse her to sleep, etc. Bear had digestive issues at first and would fuss a lot, but after a couple of months he started to smile and reassure us that he was glad we brought him into this world.

Lucky for us, Kat looked forward to Bear's arrival and welcomed him with open arms. She held him for the first time and said, "Hi! I'm your big sister!" She would hold him and hold his little fingers. She would sing songs to him even when he was in my tummy. She is happy to
share her things with him and eager to read books, tell stories, etc. She always wants me to put him in her bed so she can snuggle him. She tells me that she is his little mommy and I can be his big mommy. She is even the one who nick named him "Teddy Bear". When he wakes from a nap she gets to be the one to go into his room and greet him. And it's not one sided either. Bear loves his big sister. He sees her coming and puts his arms out for her. She was the first person to make him laugh out loud. They love each other so much and it makes me so happy. I kind of feel bad for not really liking my brother that much. I don't dislike him I just don't really know him. I know it hurts my mom but that's just how it turned out.

Poor Bear though. I hardly ever left Kat with a sitter. This time around, I'm not so convinced that my babies can't live without me. I still don't go out often, but hubby and I have decided that we need to remember how to be a couple. For so long now we've been someone's parents. We get along well and share a bed, but we forgot that it all started with me and him. So we're working on that. I am so lucky to have the family that I do. I am proud of my kids and I love my husband. I have lots of friends and family around. I'm a lucky girl!