Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Dreaded "To Do" list

I'm pretty sure the following article I found in Psychology Today was written for me! I'm famous for making the list and then feeling like that was a huge accomplishment.

Is the To-Do List Doing You In?

When the to-do list brings black clouds—and anxiety. Here's how to make the list work for you.


Many days seem to bring an endless barrage of tasks and responsibilities, all of which apparently must be tackled right away. You spend the day putting out fires, but by the end of the day you haven't accomplished any of the really important things you set out to do.

In desperation, you draft a to-do list—but most days, you can make little progress with it. When you look at the list each morning, a big fat cloud of doom is right at the top—those difficult, complex, important tasks that are so crucial to get done—and so easy to avoid.

Plenty of us create a to-do list to address feelings of being overwhelmed, but we rarely use these tools to their best effect. They wind up being guilt-provoking reminders of the fact that we're overcommitted and losing control of our priorities.

Is there a better way to use the to-do list? Experts on procrastination and efficiency say yes.

There's a right way and a wrong way to do a "to-do." According to procrastination researcher Timothy Pychyl, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada, people often draw up a to-do list—and then rest on their laurels. The list itself becomes the day's achievement, allowing us to feel we've done something useful without taking on any real work.

In fact, drawing up the list becomes a way of avoiding the work itself! "Too often, the list is seen as the 'accomplishment' for the day, reducing the immediate guilt of not working on the tasks at hand by investing energy in the list," says Pychyl. "When a list is used like this, it is simply another way in which we 'lie' to ourselves."

It's an example of what's been called the "procrastination field"—we're preparing ourselves to work, we're getting all set to take it on, but we never actually start doing it. Instead, we waste time and make ourselves feel terrible by circling around it.

For many people, that takes the form of attending to a barrage of tiny details and immediate requests. Burying yourself in busywork is an effective way to avoid more important—and more challenging—tasks. Pychyl says that procrastinators typically "binge" on low-priority activities, bustling about with stuff that's second- or third-level priority, rather than tackling the things they really need to do.

If this is your pattern, a to-do list can be a big help—if you use it the right way. If there's one dreaded chore that stays on the top of your list for a while, says Pychyl, that's a signal that you should either tackle it right away or admit you're never going to do it and strike it off the list altogether.

Break it down. In order to make it easier to begin working on big, intimidating tasks, efficiency experts suggest breaking it down into much smaller parts composed of specific, tangible activities. Research has shown that tasks that don't have an obvious action plan or structure are the hardest ones to face.

Make it easier on yourself by listing specific actions and subgoals. Your to-do list will get much longer but, paradoxically, will be a much more helpful tool.

Make a flow chart. This type of list "becomes a 'flow chart' that tells you when to start and when you'll be finished," says psychologist and life coach Neil Fiore, author of The Now Habit. "You create an overview and act like a project manager who is less likely to be overwhelmed or distracted by low priority or urgent tasks."

Each item on the list should have a priority assigned to it, he says. Another way to motivate yourself is to schedule alternating tasks: spend one hour on a number-one priority item, and then "reward" yourself by doing something easier and lower-priority for the next 30 minutes.

Maintain focus. Lists help you maintain momentum. If you're working on an important but difficult task, and a concern or thought bubbles up regarding a different responsibility, jot it down and return to it in a half hour or so when you're done with the project you were working on.

Get real! Fiore says that a strength of to-do lists is that they force you to be realistic about the amount of time you have and to make some hard decisions about priorities. "Realistically, you can't do it all," he says. "But you can focus on the best use of your time now, in alignment with your higher priorities and with the reality of human limits, humbly accepted."


Psyched for Success, 7 December 2005
Last Reviewed 30 Oct 2007
Article ID: 3945

Psychology Today © Copyright 1991-2008 Sussex Publishers, LLC
115 East 23rd Street, 9th Floor, New York, NY 10010

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I've let it go on too long...

First of all, may I say... I'm blogging at 10:00AM. AM people! Normally, if I'm lucky, I'll get to sit down and quickly put something in I don't want to forget at the crack of midnight when I really should be sleeping. Kat is at school and Bear is taking his nap. Who knew the house could be quiet and have it not mean that something naughty is secretly going on in the next room? I could get used to this!

Anyhow, I had sort of 'given up' on school for the time being. I have waited so long since I started college that I was sure all of my credits had expired. Then I started hearing rumblings lately that perhaps not all of my classes did expire. So I called a counselor and waited, waited, waited. Finally today I got the email that has made me feel like I'm not as bad off as I thought. Turns out, the classes that I took when I started college MANY years ago DO NOT EXPIRE!!!! I saved math and science for last because I rather like them... those would have expired. How lucky is that??? I am FINISHED with college English and need maybe 1 more psychology class. I can get into the 2 year nursing program and get this show on the road!

Now granted, I'm still going to have to take the slow road. I need to be there to raise my children, so online and evening classes is where it's at. But hey, I'm further ahead than I thought. It's not that taking all the English again would have been hard. But it's time consuming. Time is something I just don't have a lot of to spare. This is excellent news for me!

I need to be a nurse by the time I am 40. I think, just maybe... it's gonna happen!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

new kinda survey

At least, it's new to me. One of those lovely myspace surveys that I hate but just can't seem to get enough of. Well today Shell posted one that intrigued me, so I played. You answer the questions with pictures instead of words. You open up photobucket (or I assume google images or something similar would work) and type in your answer. Then you pick one image from that page and paste it as your answer. Kinda fun, and I was up before the crack of dawn so I had time on my hands before work!

Body: -Go to Photobucket.

com (Don't sign in)
-Type in the answer to your question in the "search" box
-Use only the first page to pick a picture from
-Copy the HTML and paste for the answer


What's your relationship status?



What is your favorite color?




Who are your celebrity crushes?




What are you listening to right now?
Chad's political crap on TV





What is your favorite tv show?





Who is your favorite Disney character?




Favorite beverage:




Where is your dream vacation?





My eye color is:





What kind of cell phone do you have?




What is something you do a lot?
read to the kids




I watch a lot of:




I'm always doing this :




I want:
love not war

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Rat Monster, SO FUNNY

This is an old clip from Scare Tactics. I almost piss myself every freaking time I watch it. I don't get tired of it. This poor guy screams like a girl on national TV, it's awesome. This is my kind of prank. I love the part at the end where he's so scared shitless he can't even open the door to escape from the room. Oh, it's so bad, but it's SO good.

Enjoy.


Funny videos

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Acu WHAT?

So I have been having pretty nasty neck pain lately. I'm not one to take drugs or go to the doctor unless I really have to, but last week I got desperate when I couldn't turn my head to the right anymore. So while at work I put myself on the schedule and had one of the doctors take a look. He says that my muscle is lumpy and that under it there is a trigger point that is causing the pain. He suggested acupressure to relieve some of the pain. OK I'm thinking... I can handle this. He said DO NOT massage it because I'm making it worse when I touch it. OK fine I'll wait for the acupressure and hella get it massaged then, right?

WRONGO! He said acuPUNCTURE, not acupressure. My friend was kind enough to point out to me that the former didn't make sense. I looked in his notes and sure enough.

He had mentioned in the appointment that we needed to "deaden that nerve". ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What if they deaden the wrong freakin part???

I'm very nervous about this procedure but I'm starting to feel as though I have no choice. I'm in pain and I'm taking vicodin just to get through a shift at work. I don't want to continue to take these drugs so I have to look into my other options. So I agreed to a consultation. We'll see how this goes. I might chicken out. I might go for it. More to come...

Monday, July 28, 2008

Bonding Time

So Hubby is finishing his final couple of weeks of bonding time from when Bear was born. He is off for 2 weeks which is nice for me... enough for him to help me around the house and be an extra pair of hands, but not quite enough to make me completely crazy. It's a good balance.

We started off our time together by having an ER marathon on Friday night. We are watching the old episodes of ER in order. (I know, we're total dorks) Anyhow, it didn't matter if we were up late because we each give each other an extra 25 minutes of sleep the next day and it's all good.

Then, on Sunday we had our annual family reunion. We had a great time! Every year my dad's side of the family gets together at Vasona park and we have a big picnic and catch up on gossip from the past year. We take the kids for a train ride and get snow cones. It's just a nice day. This year was our 24th annual and it still seems to get quite a turnout. Kat looked forward to this for days beforehand. She gets to relax and eat all the treats the auntie's toss her way.... it's a fun time. It's been neat to see new generations come through, including my children. I mean, I was 5ish when this thing started and now I bring my almost year old baby and 3 1/2 year old. Really neat.



Today we went and had lunch with my aunt and uncle. Uncle Capi suffers from Alzheimer's disease and it is progressing. He is still fun to be with though, we just get to hear the usual stories more than once per evening. Not a bad trade for the good company :-) Uncle C doesn't know my name but he does seem to understand that I am family. He is great with my kids. I know he is faking recognition but at least he has the capacity to do that. He always asks me "where's the Big Guy?" So he doesn't know my husband's name either, but he knows that I am connected to a big guy. Kat really took to him. She knows he has an illness because we attempted to explain it to her. She decided to be his nurse and she brought him pillows and told him to rest and then she just sat beside him on the couch with her little hand on his. She has a really great sense for who needs her. She really is an angel.

After our visit at The Capi's we headed down to Gilroy Gardens where we have season passes. We didn't tell Kat, we just drove up and surprised her. We had a really fun time. She rode rides and played a couple of games. Bear is a good sport... he let Big Sissy take him on some of the rides and he didn't fuss too much.

Here are the kiddos on a raft ride. Bear actually sat on his own! I was a little nervous but he was fine.

Kat was very excited to take Baby Bear on the carousel with her! He didn't complain too much, but he wasn't super excited either :-)



Here we are on the 'hot air balloon ride'. The ride itself is barf central but the kids loved it, so I guess it's OK.


I don't plan for all of our time together to be this go, go go.... but we've had a really good time so far.

I am very blessed for my life and family... I thank The Lord every single day for my blessings :-)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

are you KIDDING me?

I don't really know what to say about this. I mean, I have a lot of things I COULD say but just won't. I suppose there are worse things that a parent can do to their child. I'm all about breast feeding, don't get me wrong. I don't know though, it seems like there are deeper issues here. Maybe I'm wrong... wouldn't be the first time. Seriously though...